http://cassiereed.blogspot.com/2009/11/landmark-day-for-cassies-recovery.html
Watching that video now is a little surreal. At that point I didn't really know what the next 12 months were going to bring and the previous few months leading up to that were a blur of hospital stays, chemo and medical procedures.
Fittingly, I had an appointment at UCLA today and thought it only right that today should be the first day that I venture back to the 6th floor Hematology/Oncology unit of the hospital where I spent most of August, September, November and part of October 2009. It's where I received my stem cell transplant one year ago. The clinic I go to for check-ups is in the attached building next door so that hospital always seems to be looming nearby. And I'm always very aware of the hospital and that floor when I'm in the vicinity because I've always known that the time would come when I would go back. And, today was it. So I did it. Walked into the hospital, pressed that elevator button and stepped out to that familiar floor. It still looks the same and smells the same. It's quiet and I was relieved to not recognize the person at the front desk because it meant I could just walk past all the closed patient doors, all incognito-like, following the path that I made many times before. Back when 2 laps around the wing a day was an accomplishment for me and my friend, the IV stand. So today I made my lap, went back out toward the elevators and took one more look out the large panes of glass overlooking LA.
But then I took one more peek back and saw David, the care partner who used to make extra trips into my room on Sundays to watch NFL games with me and who helped me get through a scary couple of days when I thought an infection and elevated temperature would never go away. And I had to say hi. I'm happy to say he didn't recognize me right away. I look a little different now than I did then. More hair and more alive! And then I saw Kristin, the nurse who wisely persuaded me to finally get the PICC line in my arm after torturing myself with weeks of chemo through regular IVs. And Jackie who always called me "Dahling" and who administered my first chemo ever. It was great to see them and they said it was great for them to see me because they rarely get to see what happens with patients after we leave. And sometimes they only hear the worst. And then the most amazing thing happened. Jackie told me she had a patient who was "Day plus 1" which I quickly reached into my transplant-speak memory to remember that meant her patient just had a transplant yesterday. And Jackie said her patient was having a really hard time and just wanted to go home, so would I consider talking to her. To which i said, "Of course!".And I was given the best birthday present ever. I talked to Diana, my fellow stem cell transplant recipient, for about twenty minutes and told her I knew exactly how she felt and that she was going to get through it. That she was exactly where she needed to be right now, surrounded by the doctors and nurses who saved my life and who were saving hers too. And "life" will still be there for her when she gets out, only better. (And then I told her I was jealous of the mini-frig in her room because they didn't have those when I was in those rooms longing for a cold beverage to sooth my raw throat! If those first things didn't help her feel better, then maybe that last one did!) I hope I helped her as much as she helped me.
I came home to beautiful birthday flowers and a peppy little balloon from Kurt and his parents.
Then Kurt and I took Piper to the dog beach, one of our favorite places in the world. And Piper smiled the whole time, playing fetch until her heart's content while the sun set.
And then I had a grande, non-fat, no-water Chai Tea Latte from Starbuck's on the drive home!
Then we went to dinner and a movie. (Megamind... I highly recommend it! Will Ferrell's a genius!)
All the things I couldn't do a year ago. And that was my perfect birthday.
One down and many, many more to come!
So what come's next? Wedding planning! Kurt and I got engaged 3 months before I was diagnosed, so our wedding planning was replaced by cancer treatment. We've decided to stop worrying about the where/how/when about it all and just do it! Took a little nudging and burst of inspiration from Kurt's sister, Lisa but we've realized that there's no need to put off the good stuff. Life's too short. We'll be getting married this December 29th in his hometown of Wheaton, Illinois. It will be small and perfect. Our families and close friends will be there. And it's in the Midwest, which will always be our homeland.Now that's the latest. I'm still not 100%. I get tired and winded more easily than I'd like and I have good days and not-as-good days. But that's ok. I'm getting there.
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